Styana and Upeksha, I Am On My Way
The soul aches longing for a remedy, yet has not clue how to keep peace of mind. Wanting to live a life of being free, the heart waits to unravel and unwind. In a simulated age, a digitized rage, a virtual reality, all that is left is drained mental capacity. Instant gratification becomes gratuitous action, taxing the would-be-relaxing soul. Dull is the feeling, boredom is what I am fearing, our eyes is what is tearing. The paradox of choice is at an all time high. It seems as if the modern world is having a perpetual shoulda-coulda-woulda conversation without any fixation on why. I should have gone out with my friends, I could have gone out of the country, I would have been such a great artist. I want to feel these hypothetical situations as if I lived them out; therefore, I long to live life vicariously. Our dreams no longer need to be carried out by our own will, but could be experienced through the lives of others. The internet offers self expression, the country fights for progress of romantic ideals, the friends and the families revel in the paved paths of what is already proven. Why do I have to do anything if the world keeps going on without me -- why can I not simply veg-out?
That is just how life is, and it is my choice to participate in whatever way sounds best to me. I wish to live deliberately: to figure out what is wrong from right through the rough, and figure out what is right from wrong soon enough. I begin with the realization that imperfect and impermanent is what I am, and overcoming the massive struggles of languish, lethargy, and listlessness are a feat in its own. Vices are rooted deep just as our passions, and gradual cultivation would help bring a wholesome balance between the two. Dichotomies are real, and a marriage between them is what I think is necessary. Given a choice to face nothing or face something, I choose to face something -- I choose to practice upeksha over stagnating in the state of styana. Practicing yoga has pushed me to go beyond my tolerance; it has tempered my temperament. Let life take me, so that I will not have to struggle with life.
Foot Notes
Styana: is a Chitta Viksepa, an obstacle of the mind, which is a lack of mental temperament.
Upeksha: is a Patanjali, or remedy of obstacles, that describes non-attachment, a balanced mind and tolerance.